Who's the Fool?

On shootings, April Fools, and what it means to win

I wrote the previous piece on April 1, and I’m leaving it in the present tense for that day. I was unable to finish it and send it on Saturday because the storms we’ve had this week caused back-to-back migraines.

It feels like there are no thoughts in my head. Can one’s brain simply stop thinking? Or is the fact that I’m writing about having no thoughts evidence of thoughts and questions? If I feel like I have no thoughts and yet I’m writing about having no thoughts what does it mean? 

My body has felt heavy and slow all week. The weight of grief and disbelief and anger pushing down on me all the while my kids need rides to things and that pile of dishes in the sink needs to be addressed and there is work to do and the world turns several times. 

The trees outside my window are tossing in the leftover wind from the storm that spawned several deadly and destructive tornadoes in my state and neighboring ones. They missed me, and I even have power so far today, an improvement over the last …