“Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second?”
Yes, I watched Hamilton again last week and the various songs are on repeat in my head. Dang you, Lin Manuel for creating such catchy tunes and lyrics, lol. But this lyric came into my head while I was writing the text below so I figured I’d lead off with it.
A facebook friend of mine is crocheting an antique-style garden blanket. While I’d seen such creations before, I’d never realized how one was made, being a knitter myself and never making any projects the size of a blanket. Intricate flowers in rainbows colors that change on a gradient are coming together in her pictures as she shares her progress. But what struck me the most was that she made each flower individually, then began crocheting them together into the pattern. She calls the blanket seeds.
And it struck me that this is a perfect metaphor for where I find myself at the moment and perhaps where you find yourself as well. I have seeds of different projects and ideas and training, and I’m trying to figure out how to turn them all into something that resembles a career especially post-pandemic as my kids can hopefully go to school. And I’ve had at least one anxiety attack about it all over the past few weeks even though I feel like what I’m doing is important and will all come together somehow.
As I was praying/meditating on it all this past week, the phrase “walk the path” came into my head. Due to my past history and relationship with prayer, I am reluctant to say I “heard” God, but it’s a possibility. Regardless it felt right, and so I’m going to hold onto that at least over the next few months and see what materializes. It’s some kind of cross between trying to trust my “knowing” and trying to hear God, and I think a lot of times it’s the effort that counts.
Then in my Ignatian spiritual exercises, I came across this poem by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin that says, “Above all, trust in the slow work of God… ...your ideas mature naturally--let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste.”
So that’s where I’m at, folks. I’m making seeds and looking for the ways they are all supposed to come together. Where have you found yourselves this week?
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