The Importance of Being a Zebra

On labels, autism, and self-understanding

“Have you ever thought that I might be on the spectrum,” I asked, curling my body up in the driver's seat of our 4runner. 

“Oh yeah,” she doesn’t even pause, like maybe she’s been waiting for this question but as she’s my friend and not my therapist, she probably didn’t want to initiate that conversation. Clearly she’s thought about it. 

For context, she’s not even a therapist, but she is qualified to make the statement at least from where I sit. Her oldest son was diagnosed with autism about ten years or so ago, and she helped co-found a non-profit organization to work with autistic individuals, and so after that many years of experience, she knows what she’s talking about. 

This didn’t shock me as a “diagnosis,” as I’d told my husband a few weeks prior to this that I was pretty sure I didn’t “just” have ADHD, but that I was also on the spectrum. 

I’ve never been officially diagnosed with either, and so I hesitated to write about it until I had “confirmation.” 

But here’s the thing: I did…