All Shall be Well: When Wounds Lead to Wonder

Advent with Lady Julian Week 4

Statue of Julian of Norwich at Norwich Cathedral. Picture by author.

I gripped my trekking poles tighter in my hand as I wound my way up the frozen trail. My shoelaces protruded awkwardly from the sides of my frozen trail runners and I was particularly conscious of every step I took until I’d hiked far enough to thaw them with the heat from my feet. My winter gear weighed down my pack with as much weight as I often carry for multiple days, and the mountain was unrelentingly steep. 

I was able to tie my shoes before I hit the snow line so I counted that as a win. I was caught between the feeling of ecstasy, being out here in the fresh snow climbing a mountain, and wondering what the heck I was doing out here by myself in the snow climbing a mountain. 

You see, the way I was raised, women didn’t go do this kind of thing, really at all, much less alone. And because of that, every time I go out on my own, especially overnight, I have to fight the rising anxiety that comes from that ingrained…